Friday, May 6, 2016

I Quit My Day Job

After struggling last year after the layoff to find a steady job,  it is hard to believe a year later that I am even writing this.   I actually quit!  I gave my notice, worked with HR and department heads on transitioning my work and current project load,  served out the 2 weeks, and walked away.  That was 1 week ago.

Turning in my parking pass, and building access badge
Heather has been teaching natural health classes and selling essential oils for the past few years,  and the business reached a point where it could justify a second set of hands, both in work load, and financially.    I am beyond excited to be home with the family,  but this time without the stress and burden of needing to find a job.  

The timing is perfect too.  it is baseball season, and Little League is getting into full swing.  The first game is tonight, and I don't have to worry about jetting out of the office early to get to the field to coach.  AND, we are getting a new puppy at the end of the month,  so I will be able to help with the training.

Brackett and I at our first visit

So looking forward to 2016,  this is going to be an amazing year for sure, and I am excited to get back to sharing it here!

Hope your day is Awesome!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Delaying The Inevitable

I knew going into it that February was going to be rough.  

If you look at my last post you see joy, anticipation, and excitement.  February came and went but those feelings had (over the last 6 months) seemingly been replaced with fear, anger, and jealousy.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel so keep reading.

This summer, at 12 weeks pregnant, we had our first miscarriage.  I say first not that we have had others since, but rather in acknowledgement that some have gone through this multiple times.

I have put off writing about it here (despite the birth announcement) because I didn't know what to say.  It felt bad feeling bad.  I didn't want to be jealous of every friend that posted their pregnancy photos.   I wanted to be excited for them, offer up some tips and tricks for the first timers, and enjoy a cigar in the delivery room with the dad.  Ok so that last part may only be in the movies, and I think they hand them out without actually lighting, but still I wanted to be happy about it all.

Happy just didn't seem to form. 2015 had already started off on a semi-crazy note which began with the layoff; I was able to get a contract job in March.  The pay was good, but as a contractor, there were no benefits or time off.

  In august my contract was terminated unexpectedly (another potential downside to contract work)

 While the very nature of the position was such that they could end it at any time, I was still quite surprised.  

I had been missing time at the office due to the miscarriage, and wanting to be home with Heather.  My employer incredibly generous and considerate and had no problem with my time away.  I couldn't help but think though that my performance had slipped as well.  Indeed it had.  Without actively realizing it, I had let deliverables fall through the cracks and my attendance began to start later and later in the day. My work that I was turning in was slowly but surely losing quality.

Autumn found me right where January had.  Unemployed, without prospects, but now, I was also frustrated, saddened, and confused by the miscarriage. I had lost a significant swagger that used to be in my step.  

So you can see why despite my desire, the idea of just being happy wasn't working.  To be honest though,  I wasn't working all that hard on it either.

There is a danger in the feeling of invincibility, and I walked that line without attention to that danger for a bit too long. Broken and seemingly at the end of my rope there was one more key step in the  "knocking me off my pedestal process" though that still had to happen.

  I began a video log of everything that was happening, starting with Christmas 2014 to document our journey, I had plans to take this wild difficult year and turn it into something inspiring for others. 

I took hours of video documenting how I was feeling what was going on, our road trips while looking for jobs, and even our pregnancy announcement.

Despite the trials, and pain of the year thus far,  I had convinced myself it was all going to be ok by taking comfort in the fact that at least all that video would be a great way to look back on the year.  After all,  I was narrating it,  I was going to edit it really nice, place a score and other music as needed to really hit the important parts (note the arrogance beginning to re-form).  

Then the computer crashed.  When I say crashed, I mean like hard.  HARD!  As in Hard Drive.  So bad in fact that the computer tech who attempted to fix it acknowledged just how sophisticated the virus that had just erased my entire year was.

All of the data was gone.  Hundreds of hours of home video and interviews deleted forever.  Seemingly this would be a tiny piece compared to everything that had happened in the year,  and in fact it was.  It just happened to be the last piece I was holding onto.

I promised light at then end,  so here is is.  I am here. A far less ignoragant and arrogant version.  Neither of those are attributes I would ever have thought I possessed, Lesson learned!

  Our family is ok.  There is excitement for the future, and at the end of the day,  God is good.  I look forward to sharing many positive moments as they come, but had to take a minute to breathe, reflect, and collect what had come along with a year of crazy. 

We are blessed beyond belief, and I cant wait to get back to the fun, outgoing, crazy posts that I love.   The baby we lost will ALWAYS be a part of us, moving forward does not have to mean moving on.

I will never forget 2015 and the lessons I was forced to face.  I am not happy about what happened or how I reacted most of the time to it, but I am grateful for the opportunity to have learned from it,  and look forward to what God has in store for our family in the future. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Exciting Times

It's funny how once you are a part of something you notice it more.  Like when you buy a car you have never heard of then suddenly realize they are everywhere.  Or hear a phrase for the first time,  then realize it is part of everyday conversation where you live.

That's how it was for me last week.  The same day that we found out we were having another baby,  my wife posted a fun announcement picture. 

It was fun and creative,  but I hadn't really ever thought about an announcement picture.  This week whenever I am online,  it seems that yet another friend is posting a clever pic letting people know they are expecting.

Hence the  title of this post.  These are for sure some exciting times.   Baby Wilson #4 will join us in Fabruary.

Here is the photo she made.   I still love it.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Poem Friday - On a Monday

A sea of grain escapes the swimming racist sadists mind

Trial it by fire, and you'll see the place is fine

This minor fact's in fact as tasteless as a grapeless vine

Making more discussion just a gracious waste of time

Friday, December 26, 2014

Things to do : On the Cheap

So cheap has 2 meanings really,  low cost,  or low quality.  no one wants cheap quality,  but when it comes to low cost,  we all get excited,  just look at black Friday right?

I have been posting steps to making things work when laid off close to Christmas.

Step 2: No Parental presents.  While presents are great for the kids to open and get excited about,  as the parents,  my wife and I decided not to get anything for eachother this year.  That has proved much harder that I thought it would be.

  I don't mind not getting gifts from her,  but not getting her anything when there were only like 2 items on her wish list was a tough pill to swallow.  by doing that though,  we were able to stretch the budget a little more for some fun stuff.

We have been doing low cost for about a month now (since I was laid off) and since it is now the midst of the holiday season,  we want to be out doing things.  We obviously cant do everything on the cheap,  so I will share a few things that we have been able to.

Movie Night:

Who doesn't love some hot tea, popcorn, and a Christmas movie?  I haven't had microwave popcorn for a long time,  rather I make it on the stove. If you have never tried it,  here are a few tips.

1. DO NOT leave the pan unattended at any point in the popcorn making process.  The oil will ignite and start a nasty fire in your house if you leave it hot too long.

2. Make the recipe your own.  A lot of people will say how much oil,  salt,  and kernels to add,  and while following a recipe is a good idea,  feel free to put your own spin on it.  I always thought more oil would make the popcorn staler.  Not true,  not enough oil will cause chewy popcorn.

3. Serve hot!  There is nothing wrong with cold popcorn,  but right when you put in the movie,  or during the previews, take the 10 minutes,  and make the popcorn.  it smells good, and everyone will appreciate a nice hot bowl.

 Next,  Dinner with family. 

This is something we should probably do more often anyway,  but when we are invited for a meal,  it is nice not to have to think about cooking,  or grocery budget.  Plus I love lasagna.

Then:  Always have fun.  I didn't buy this,  but had some time to try it on.  If you cant look life in the eye and say during the hard times,  lets have some fun,  then the hard times are just going to get harder.

While Christmas is different this year,  it is still and always has been for us about God anyway.  He has opened my eyes to the fact that my job was not my identity,  and that when relying on him,  everything will be ok. 

Merry Christmas Everyone!